Opening with the rhythm of a steady heartbeat, and then a guitar’s gentle strumming, the song begins (listen here) with the words “you gave us love and you gave us life, wild woman with sparkling eyes.”
The song – embedded with a recording of her actual heartbeat – was written especially for Stacy Estrella, 51, who was admitted to the ICU with a sudden aggressive fungal infection that was rapidly spreading to her brain. The infection left her drifting in and out of consciousness, unable to speak. The vibrant woman who loved to garden and was always singing and dancing, now had only a few days to live. As her family faced the news, the nurses told them about a special program that might help ease their pain.
Five years ago, intensive care physician Thanh Neville, MD started the 3 Wishes Program at UCLA Health, an initiative to provide dignity and compassion to patients as they face the end of their lives. From setting up date nights, organizing a mariachi band serenade, to officiating weddings at the bedside, the range of wishes have been varied.
The program is introduced to patients and their families when it is certain that the patient will die in the intensive care unit. Patients and their families are invited to make requests for wishes that would help to honor the patient’s last moments, and for wishes that help families remember their loved ones. Requests are not limited and are often made in collaboration with the nurses and care staff.
Estrella's first wish came in the form of music.
“‘Landslide’ by Fleetwood Mac was one of her favorite songs that we would always sing as a family,” said Emily Leiva, Estrella’s daughter. The nurses introduced the family to music therapist Jenna Bollard, who worked with Leiva and her family to pen a cover of the song to the rhythm of Estrella's heartbeat.
“My mom was just a wonderful personality,” Leiva said. “For the doctors to honor who she was, and listen and really care about our story, was so meaningful.”
Since it was launched, the 3 Wishes Program has fulfilled more than 5,000 wishes for more than 1,600 patients, all costing the program just $30 per patient. Especially through the pandemic, the program has made the dying process more compassionate, kind, and personally meaningful to families.
“It’s so rewarding to be able to offer something at the end of life, when medical treatment has reached its limitations,” Dr. Neville shared.
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